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The East African : Sep 5th 2015
18 The EastAfrican OPINION SEPTEMBER 5-11,2015 LAST WORD Kenya did not win at Beijing: Can you T≥ump that fo≥ shee≥ blithe≥ing idiocy? Forum for Democratic Change (FDC) supporters at the party’s 6th National Delegates Conference in Kampala before Dr Kizza Besigye was nominated the FDC flag bearer in the 2016 presidential elections. Picture: Morgan Mbabazi Joachim Buwembo No samosas fo≥ the incumbent in spiced-up contests inKampala, Da≥ Yoweri Museveni once dismissively said that defeating perennial rival Dr Kizza Besigye was no big deal, as he would just chew him up like a samosa with his afternoon tea. The Besigye samosa almost choked Museveni in 2006 but come 2011, he chewed it with ease. For some time, there were expecta- T tions that Museveni would retire and anoint a successor to run on the ruling NRM ticket in 2016. Until last year, the anointee was thought to be John Patrick Amama Mbabazi (JPAM) — the prime minister who was sacked recently after only three years in office. Mbabazi was also hounded from the top NRM office of secretary general, dashing his hopes of ever becoming its flag bearer. Had NRM fronted the aloof JPAM for president, it was the ferocious Besigye who would have chewed him up like a samosa. That would have been the beginning of the end for NRM, a party that depends heavily on the individual who leads it. So you don’t have to ask why Museveni is still running for president; NRM dare not field any candidate other than Museveni as long as Besigye is still around. They won’t allow the doctor to have his samosa and eat it too. In Tanzania, a samosa party almost he campaign party is on both in Tanzania and Uganda but there are no samosas on the menu. Uganda’s President unfolded recently as the delegates of the ruling CCM met for the conclave that selects the party’s flag bearer every 10 years. Edward Lowassa, a political animal just as ferocious as Besigye, having ultimately proved unacceptable to the topmost party leaders, they almost settled for Foreign Minister Bernard Membe who, like Uganda’s JPAM, had been whispered about for years. But once the CCM-disqualified Lowassa decided to run on an opposition ticket, it became obvious the white-haired Maasai warrior would have swallowed Membe like a particularly tiny cocktail samosa and still remained hungry. The party elders then decided to bring in a man of rare stature. John Pombe Magufuli (those JPM initials again!) is a man about whom there is not even a whisper of corruption and whose zeal for hard work is legendary. Lowassa is likely to find JPM rather less chewable than Membe. So CCM and NRM are in the same boat. While NRM-has two thirds of the country’s registered voters also registered as its members, it faced the risk of any candidate other than Museveni being mauled by Besigye. Even the opposition politicians fear Besigye. For Besigye is the only Ugandan besides Museveni who scientific polls have shown needs no introduction as a potential president. Similarly, in Tanzania, Lowassa is the most recognisable potential president, especially as the incumbent is not running. With such a crisis on CCM’s hands, history was forced to repeat itself. Benjamin William Mkapa, Tanzania’s third president, who was brought into the CCM nomination race as a disinterested participant, returned to push a successor for his successor. He pushed for Magufuli to succeed Jakaya Kikwete the way Mwalimu Nyerere pushed Mka- pa to succeed his successor, Ali Hassan Mwinyi. CCM’s threat in 1995 was Augustine Mrema. This time it is Edward Lowassa. Easi- Illustration: John Nyaga ly digestible samosas are in short supply in Kampala and Dar. Kenya phobia? Donald Trump, who is in the running to be the US Republican presidential candidate, appears to have deep hatred for Kenya, probably because his country’s first black president traces his roots to the East African country. He attacked team Kenya that won the IAAF World Championships in Beijing, saying they are all cheap frauds, masquerades and conmen and women. “Look at them, all of them, don’t you see frauds?” he asked. He claimed categorically that it was the US that won and not Kenya. Trump congratulated the US athletes for winning the championships although they were third! He had earlier threatened to deport Kenyans from the US should he become president. Trump’s troubles are compounded by the fact that his main challenger for the Republican ticket, Ben Carson, also traces his roots to Kenya, to Turkana to be specific. Lizards and crocodile hand on toast? Yummy Restaurant with the weirdest menu in the world: The restaurant Yokohama in Japan is serving insects, pig’s brains with boiled eggs, lizards and whole chicks, crocodile hands, black scorpion, edible cockroaches and many more. It is not for the faint-hearted yet the restaurant is a massive hit with diners, and tourists who go to Yokohama are apparently flocking to try the weird dishes on display. It’s not cheap, mind. About $95 buys you roasted frog, and it costs $202 for a deep-fried salamander. Now open for around six years, chef Fukuoka prides himself on rare and unusual international meats, with a Twitter feed that is regularly and excitedly updated with his latest imports. ... But home-barbequed ribs are to die for My meat at any cost! A man rescued his wife and child from a burning building, before going back for the huge slab of ribs he had been cooking. Robert Wright was in his apartment in Fresno, California, when a fire broke out in the home adjacent to his own. But after dealing with his family and helping them to safety, Mr Wright admitted his thoughts turned back to his food.” I got my kid and wife first, then I thought about my ribs, I didn’t want to let the ribs burn, I take pride in what I do, man,” said Mr Wright. What do you know? Laughte≥’s not always the best medicine A woman has dislocated her jaw after she screamed in excitement during a card game. She sustained the injury on a train and had to get off at an earlier stop for emergency medical treatment. Jiao Yuan was with her husband, Jiao Chiu, both in their 40s, and another friend while travelling on a train in south China’s Guangxi region in a journey that was expected to take 28 hours from the provincial capital Nanjing to eastern Shandong Province. According to Yuan, his wife continuously got a good hand, which made her very happy. He said: “It caused her to laugh and scream at her good fortune.” However, her laughter turned to pain when she opened her mouth so wide to express her delight that her jaw became dislocated. After two hours of treatment in a hospital, the woman’s jaw was put back in place.
Aug 29th 2015
Sep 12th 2015