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The East African : Oct 17th 2015
18 The EastAfrican OPINION OCTOBER 17-23,2015 LAST WORD At last, a McJoint to go with you≥ Big Mac and Jumbo Coke? Bumme≥, dude, it’s a spoof Is McDonald starting a pot smoking joint? According to an online news report, Colorado McDonald’s franchises have announced that they are converting their Play Place areas into marijuana friendly smoking areas. There will be 15 smoking “pods” designed to encase the smoker of a joint, bong, or pipe to their own delight. The legalisation of cannabis in the US state of Colorado has been the source of plenty of changes, but none more earth-shattering than this. The pods are attached to ventilation shafts that will whip the offending smoke away from other diners. But the report has been Illustration: Patrick Gathara Joachim Buwembo Laughte≥ is the best medicine, and Museveni’s medical VPs a≥e a hoot L aughter is the best medicine, and the best doctors know the value of entertainment for health. Now Uganda’s President Yoweri Mu- seveni too knows this. How else would you explain his tendency to appoint only medical doctors as his deputies? Only after the last election did he appoint a lawyer (who has been suspiciously quiet) as VP, and I predict that next year he will give us another medic. Already he has, last year, ditched his lawyer prime minister replacing him with a senior doctor and trainer of doctors. And without doubt, every politically conscious person in Uganda feels good about having Ndugu Dr Ruhakana Rugunda, one of the most decent politicians in post-Independence Uganda, as prime minister. But one of medic VPs who fused to leave c stage long after ing office is Pr Gilbert Bukenya a malaria r searcher of co siderable statur A VP from th early 2000s, Bu nya once stun the nation whe told the press there was a po ful mafia led someone fitting description of A ma Mbabazi later became minister. A few days later, he turned up at Amama’s office for a photo shoot to prove that they were best of friends. Later, he accused some unnamed people of murdering his grown son, who apparently died in a motor accident. Soon after losing the high office in 2011, Bukenya was arraigned on corruption allegations. He spent over a week in prison and TV cameras caught tears pouring from his eyes when the judge sent him to prison. Since being acquitted, he has been on the warpath, levelling all manner of accusations against Museveni’s administration. And when his political archenemy Amama Mbabazi fell out with Museveni, Bukenya was quick to embrace the man he once described as a dangerous mafia leader. The two, with two other opposition leaders, Kizza Besigya and Norbert Mao, constituted The Democratic Alliance (TDA) of four potential presidential candidates. Two weeks ago, TDA failed to reach agreement over a united candidate. Last week, Bukenya declared that he was back in NRM and was solidly behind Museveni’s 2016 candidature. Even by Ugandan standards, this was a stunner. Mao Norbert, president general of the Democratic Party, went on TV to express his disbelief. He said that during the days-long confidential meeting of the four TDA candidates, Bukenya had revealed tonnes and tonnes of Museveni’s secrets. Of Museveni’s other VPs, one was Dr Samson Kisekka who is long dead but kept the nation laughing with his brand of mass motivational talks. As he to die in Mulago Hose called reporters to ss him being ferried ramshackle car back his village. The guiltden state flew him to decently abroad. The er VP, Specioza Kawe, was as colourful also quite brilliant in head. She is relatively ng and has reminded unch NRM cadre. useveni starts his last utional term next year. e wants Ugandans to main happy, he has a de list of humorous ctors to anoint a suc- Illustration: John Nyaga rom. denied by McDonald’s management who stated that Now8News, a satire site, had most likely mocked up the images for their post. Grumpy Putin takes selfie with beauty queen Come on Comrade Su- preme Leader, be happy! Russian President Vladmir Putin took a selfie with Miss Russia but he doesn’t look happy. The shot was shared on Instagram by the delighted model who fulfilled a lifelong ambition when she met the Russian leader. But the Russian president doesn’t look amused in the snap, which was shared on the beauty queen’s Instagram account. The model, Violetta, 21, shared the picture on Instagram and added the gushing caption: “My best friend, Vladimir Putin.” Violetta fulfilled a lifelong dream after the recent Formula 1 Grand Prix in Sochi, a city in southwestern Russia. As he was leaving in his shirt sleeves, Violetta, who is studying law at univer- sity, plucked up courage to ask him for a picture, ignoring his security guards when they attempted to keep her back. And the President duly obliged, putting his hands around her waist. ...gets wet directly af- ter – from champagne Then that is what happens when you are too stiff! Race winner Lewis Hamilton accidentally soaked the Russian leader’s suit jacket in victory champagne, so he had to take it off. But Hamilton dismissed as wide off the mark reports that he sprayed President Vladimir Putin with the winner’s champagne after the Grand Prix in Sochi. “I actually didn’t. I didn’t actually spray him,” the Mercedes driver told Sky Sports television. But photographs appeared to show dark flecks of champagne foam on the back of Putin’s jacket as he departed. The dark side of falling on your sword Don’t try this at home! A Chinese man who thought he had haemorrhoids was rushed to hospital with a sword up his bum after trying some bizarre home surgery. The 54-year-old man, named Yan Wu, told medics that he was initially too embarrassed to just turn up for treatment for the condition on his bottom. He told doctors that he wanted to remove his own piles and tried to do so with a miniature, but razor sharp sword. Unfortunately he slipped and the blade shot up his back passage. Luckily, doctors were able to remove the sword safely. Psychopaths d≥ink black co≠ee, get da≥k thoughts Coffee is for psychopaths? A just-in study published in the journal Appetite revealed that people who like their coffee black are more likely to possess anti-social and psychopathic personality traits. The research, which comes from the University of Innsbruck in Austria, examined the taste preferences of about 1,000 people, finding those who preferred more bitter notes in foods like black coffee scored higher on series personality questionnaires that assessed Machiavellianism, a term used in psychology to describe personalities that are dark, psychopathic, narcissistic and sadistic. The study also notes that participants who reported a fondness for other bitter foods like radishes, celery and tonic water were also more likely to exhibit psychopathic traits.
Oct 10th 2015
Oct 24th 2015