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Daily Nation : February 24th 2014
DAILY NATION Monday February 24, 2014 RELATIONSHIPS 10 ways in which wives can show love to their husbands your potential in life and business as a single person. Marriage is great but it comes with certain responsibilities. This support and encouragement you are hoping to find in marriage starts with knowing how to cheer and encourage oneself. I have discovered that, in relationships, a single person should not expect that marriage will make them complete. We are complete in God, having been made in his image. Dear Pastor Kitoto, I am a woman of 27 and a great fan of your column, which I find really encouraging. I must admit that it has really helped me overcome problems in my past relationships. My aim of writing to tell you that I was deeply touched by the article titled, “She’s been having an affair with her brother in -law” I want to give a helping hand because I have undergone similar heartbreak and I just wanted to help him because in my case, I almost committed suicide. I alsounderstand that you don’t link people up but that’s not I want. I 5 I have a pressing problem. I have been with this man for three years now and we have two sons aged one and six months. As much as we love each other, I still live with my parents with our son. None of his family members has come to see the younger boy although they keep asking about him, claiming that they want to see him and that I should take him to them. I have a job but my children’s father doesn’t, but he can still afford to drink and take care of his extended family. Yet he provides nothing for our children. The only thing he knows to do is call himself a dad and frequently demands to see the baby. Is it worth being involved with a person who takes advantage of the fact that, since I am working, I can make ends meet and provide his child with everything. I once raised this issue with him and he told me that the moment we start living together, he will fulfill his responsibilities as a father which he cannot at the moment since I am living with my parents. l JK Hi, If you still live with your parents You can find fulfilment in life without getting married. Marriage is not everything. It does not make you complete. You can reach your potential in life and business as a single person. Marriage is great but it comes with certain responsibilities. and the father of your child is not taking any steps to give you a home, I really do not see what you are still pushing for. If he is acting the way he does, it might be difficult if he asked you for your hand in marriage. You will be the same person who will be complaining that he is not home and wastes his time in bars or beer joints. So, if I were you, I would ask my- self a few serious questions: First, what is best for my child and myself? Is it having the father of my child living with us? Second, if he were to live with us, what value would he add to me and the baby? Is it just a man you want in the home or you are looking for support with regard to the issues you now face as a single parent? Third, what legal avenues to you want just genuine f riendship. Grace In an upcoming book, Judy and Mark Hyburn discuss 100 ways for women to show love to their husbands. Now that Valentine’s Day is out of the way, how about 10 ways wives can affirm their husband’s leadership in the home? car, tell him how much you love and appreciate him. 1 2 3 Surprise him with a fun meal or gift that you think he will enjoy. Show open support and appreciation to him for working so hard to support the family. Instead of calling him at work to complain about the trash he forgot to out as he went to the without “lording” it over him. 4 5 6 7 and 2. Why God never answers my prayers by giving a companion. I am so lonely, I am even thinking of committing suicide. Maryshillah Hi Thank you for the compliments. Dating is healthier and more enjoyable when you take time to build friendship with your partner. I believe that whether the other partner starts it or not, sex is about mutual consent. What normally drove you to consent to sex in your previous relationships? Did the men force you into it? Or do you believe that consenting will prove how serious Reserve some energy and show freshness when he gets home instead of starting with Tell him how proud you are of him for being your friend and father of your child(ren). Offer to give advice by starting with gratitude instead of a nagging or belittling attitude. Instead of complaining of his lack of spirituality, help him be the spiritual head at home complaints and demands. him to. 8 9 you are about them? When you sleep with men, they draw several conclusions and ask themselves a number of questions: One, she does not have self-control; two, I have achieved my goal, so it is time to move one. three, I wonder what kind of wife she will make, can I trust her with other men around? I pray that you do not take this blame game too far. You need not blame yourself. What you need is self-discipline, and to rebuildyour self-esteem. Without this, men will continue using and dumping you, leaving you wallowing in self-pity. Indeed, your background could affect how you look at issues. Don’t expect him to be superman who knows everything and can do anything you ask even when he’s not there. 10 Take special note of the things he has done for you and the family. Brag about him to fellow women and other people both in front of him and I really appreciate your concern. I believe the person who sent the question is also touched by your concern. This column seeks to achieve certain goals. First, provide an avenue to vent your relational issues. Second, it is a place to hear about successes in relationships. Third, this column gives read- But you have already broken that barrier,that is why you are in business. You can rebuild your future, and note that it can happen without a man in your life. In fact, I have come across situations where one spouse is a hindrance to the other’s progress. So take advantage and sort yourself out. Let a man love you for who you are. Draw inspiration from your relationships where they contribute positively to your personal growth. In my opinion, you are not cursed, and you can still find fulfillment in life without getting married. Marriage is not everything. It does not make you complete. You can reach ers an opportunity to learn from one another. Many think that there is nothing good in relationships. Fourth, we hope that this column will help reset the broken values and foundations of healthy relating. Therefore, other people’s stories help us learn new and better ways of relating to keep and set new standards for the coming generations. Consequently, this column would be missing the point if we break the rules of engagement. Remember, this is a safe place to share without feeling that the information you give will be shared with someone else. This column must provide safety and integrity, where you have confidence that none can simply call and access information you have shared with us. As much as I appreciate your concern, I believe our friend will be okay. Should I leave my baby’s daddy Dear Sir, have for getting him to provide for his child? Maybe this is an issue you are afraid to confront. If not, what would happen if he refused to support the child and walks out of your life? These questions will help you pri- oritize your life. Right now you are worrying about many things. Maybe it is time to focus on yourself and the baby. Give him a call when you are sure of the right questions you want to ask and be ready to move on with livfe. You can’t be kept waiting for an answer you are not really sure about. I need to see a counsellor Hi Pastor Kitoto, Thank you for the good advice you always give. We all learn from it. A friend of mine has been going through a marriage problem and from what I have learnt after reading your articles, you always advise on seeking help. Could you kindly refer me to a marriage counselor or tell me how can I can see you. HW Hi Thank you for your kind words. Please write to firstname.lastname@example.org. Please note that this email is only for you to send an appointment request.
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