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The East African : June 16th 2014
22 The EastAfrican OPINION JUNE 14-20,2014 LAST WORD Oz needs some divine inte≥vention, mate: Socce≥ fans chee≥fully put themselves down The Australian soccer team Joachim Buwembo Youth is wasted on the young, at least in Ugandan politics today years. They are bold yet polished and make our famous Jose Chameleone and Juliana Kanyomozi seem old and yesterday-ish. These daring new kids like Iryn Ntale and Rena Nalumansi make you happy to have lived long enough to see Uganda’s art of tomorrow today. But besides the performing arts, you A see promise in other fields that restores your faith in youth. In sport, young Ugandans are ta world and excelling. In research, several you and women are bein from Kampala by inst abroad that get to learn their exploits at our resourced universities thousands of less g youth are venturing into the outside worl great personal risk to honest work and inves the future. The one field that ha ever failed to attract qu is politics. Somehow, youth of talent and i join other sectors, in it seems mostly the dre vited or accommodated years before and soon a ence when the youth w bunch of talented young musicians that you can’t ignore have hit the Ugandan scene over the past one or two contributions to national emancipation, today the youth seem only keen on bringing their most obnoxious traits to politics. In meeting an important person, their main agenda is “facilitation” money. These days these repugnant youths can even talk threateningly to a most high ranking personality, vowing to work against him if he does not refund money they allege to have spent in unsubstantiated “mobilisation.” I think the last time a focused youth nearly shook politiestab-hment s over o deces ago n one a r l e s mushcreated y” stu- vement quickly e l l e d to stunt presncy at kerere needy majorstarted omable for the Illustration: John Nyagah Constituent Assembly and easily won a seat. Anecdotal stories about his cam- paign have it that while his opponents carried bags of money to bribe voters, Rwomushana hit the trail armed with a hoe and would offer to dig in voters’ gardens. The disarmed voters showered him with votes after “eating” his opponents’ money. At that rate, Rwomushana would probably be president by now, but he was given a security job in the president’s office and his political star started nose-diving. He got power alright, which made the senior military officers of yesterday hate him with a passion, but his popularity was gone, possibly for good. No young politician has ever repeat- ed the Rwomushana feat. And the now older Rwomushana shows no sign of electrifying national politics again. Today we have political youths who make you want to go to exile. They have mastered intrigue and extortion. They intimidate older politicians. They talk of mobilising votes. They are proud to declare how they belong to this or that senior politician. But look for constructive efforts from them and you may as well search for a needle in the proverbial haystack. If you compare Ugandan adolescent training over the past decade to the digestive system, it seems to have sent the proteins to science, the vitamins to performing arts, the sugars to sports and the solid waste to politics. surely needs some divine intervention in Brazil, and Australians are the first to admit it. The city of Melbourne woke on Tuesday to a vision of Rio de Janeiro’s famous Christ the Redeemer statue flying over their city, with a message urging Australia’s Socceroos fans to “Keep TheFaith”. Local media reported that religious groups were not pleased with the stunt. A news website, sportsbet.com said in a statement, “Let’s be honest, the Socceroos need some divine intervention to win a single match at the World Cup!” and urged Australian fans to keep believing in their team. The stunt took aeronautical engineers, designers and seamstresses five months to get the balloon off the ground, with the final product being bigger than the real Christ the Redeemer statue in Brazil. The balloon measured 150ft high and was made in the UK. US airline needs pooper scooper Dogs have running stom- ach too! In what has been described as a “rare and unfortunate situation,” a US Airways flight was forced to make an unscheduled landing after a guide dog repeatedly relieved itself in the aisle. The service dog apparently pooped twice in the aisle, sickening passengers with the odour. An emergency cleaning crew on the ground eventually came to the rescue of the poor passengers, but the journey time doubled to more than 14 hours. The passenger and guide dog were reportedly rebooked onto another flight.Andrew Christie, a spokesman for the airline, said the flight from Los An- geles to Philadelphia had to make an unscheduled stop in Kansas City. Jim Kutsch, president at the Seeing Eye guide dog school in Morristown, New Jersey, that such incidents are rare, but that dogs occasionally get sick on planes, too. Chinese man has an interesting time (Ouch!) A Chinese man, Lian Tien, 61, has been freed after getting his member jammed in a pipe for two long days. “It was hot so I was painting the wall in the nude, and I slipped on the floor causing my private parts to fall inside the pipe that was protruding from the wall to take water outside from the air conditioning unit. Unfortunately, I got stuck as a result. I thought that no-one would believe me and I tried everything I could think of to get the damned thing off once it had got stuck. “I cut it from the wall and tried pouring oil and liquid soap down the sides but my manhood was so tightly wedged that nothing dripped down. I went to sleep thinking that if I relaxed it would slide off.” Tien was still too embar- rassed to tell his family what had happened and only went to the doctor two days after the incident when he developed a fever, his son said. Firemen had to use cutting tools to saw the pipe off after doctors admitted they were unable to remove it. Dr Dewei Yuan said: “The member had swollen so much that there was nothing more we could do, and we had to ask for help.” Tien, of Quanzhou City, endured four hours of sawing before he was released. Japanese executives get politely pissed Japanese culture dictates that businessmen should not offend their superiors by refusing a drink, but many find themselves imbibing far more than they can handle. A new gallery of images of salaried men in various states of intoxication sprawled on pavements, trains and street benches has been captured online, reflecting the other side of Japan’s famously hardworking office workers in all their glory. The train appears to be the most popular resting place for Japanese men when under the influence.
June 9th 2014
June 23rd 2014